Kylari

From The Ankyrean Archives

Kylari Status: Working the streets of Bel-Air.
Name	Kylari.
Birth date	19th of Slyphian.
Class	Infernal.
Gender	Female.
Cup size	36 E.
Race	Azudim.
Status	Undead.
Level	100
Sexuality	Depends on who is paying the five bucks for her services.
Marital status	Single.
Guild
Guild	None, because there is a god.
City
City	Bloodloch
Positions held	Missionary Position. How boring.
Cityrank	4.
Characteristics
Height	Tall.
Weight	Lithe.
Hair	Dark Red.
Eyes	Amber.

Kylari was the guildmistress of the Infernals and currently resides in Bloodloch, where she served as Minister of War. She had to step down from both positions because she took herself far too seriously and was sad when nobody else agreed. She describes herself as, "Very stubborn, strong willed and not known for her patience." -- a bit like a mule. Though she's had many men attempting to court her, few ever get close enough to win her affection. Experts suggest that this may be due to her raging, eighteen-inch penis.

1 History
2 Description
3 Trivia
4 Why She Fails

History

Kylari was adopted by Ezrax at a young age, though their relationship has since broken apart, causing her to cast off the name and revert to that of her birth. The cause of the breakup is speculated to be the fact that Kylari was by far the stronger and more masculine of the pair.

She was also a dedicated follower of Dhaivol up until and after His sundering, refusing to remove the chaplet she was given to celebrate her first order orgy. She joined Chakrasul's Order, and then left after a short stint because she could. Nowadays, she offers to Galleus and Chakrasul if she happens to feel like it. She is also actively trying to pursue Ivoln once more. Fascinating stuff.

Description

Kylari's description was based on this image by Luis Royo.

She is an undead unstable Atavian and is close to five and a half feet in height. Her dark auburn hair (because even though auburn means "dark red," her hair is a very very special shade of auburn) is often pulled back so it doesn't get into her eyes when she's refusing to see logic.

Long whisps — what's a whisp? Is that a whorish wisp? — of hair escape their bonds to fall framing her delicate pancake shaped face. Her golden amber eyes (because even though amber is already golden, her eyes are a very very special shade of amber) almost seem to glow with an inner light and are framed by long dark lashes. We get it. Glowy eyes are glowing.

Slightly almond shaped eyes (ffs, the eyes again?) and refined features are complimented by her full supple lips. Yes, the lips talk to the features, giving them compliments. If they were more of, say, a pleasant accent, they would instead complement her features.

Though stocky and fleshy as a limp lasagna noodle, she retains her Vulcan curves which are framed by slimy black wings that shimmer almost blue in certain light. Which we, viewing her, would know, because we're psychic.

Because all warriors have time for sunbathing, her lightly tanned complexion gives her a warm healthy glow. And since she's so goddessy-perfect, we have to throw in some absolutely miniscule scratch somewhere to make her oh-so-believable: the only flaw is a small scar upon the palm of her hand from a sharp weapon.

Trivia

She is almost universally considered a really, really shitty GM, reponsible for the stagnancy that's crippling the Infernals, but no-one was willing to contest her.
She recently ragequit because Haven came back and the Infernals finally realized that she was not a good guildmaster. Angry bitch is Angry.

Why She Fails

Kylari's aura of weapons rebounding disappears.
Kylari slashes into Tris's left arm with an ornate steel rapier.
Tris steps into the attack, grabs Kylari by the arm, and throws her violently to
the ground.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]ih
Number of objects: 1
"donkey112403" a donkey.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Tris moves in towards Kylari in a grabbing posture.
Tris lifts Kylari triumphantly into the air, then yanks her down into his raised
knee with back breaking force.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari sticks herself with a long needle.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari eats a kidney slice.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari sticks herself with a long needle.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
(Web): Isiph says, "Haha."
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari stands up and stretches her arms out wide.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari eats a kidney slice.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari sticks herself with a long needle.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari slashes into Tris's left arm with an ornate steel rapier.
Tris steps into the attack, grabs Kylari by the arm, and throws her violently to
the ground.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
(Web): Isiph says, "SHE STILL DID IT!"
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]wt haha..
(Web): You say, "Haha.."
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Tris moves in towards Kylari in a grabbing posture.
Tris lifts Kylari triumphantly into the air, then yanks her down into his raised
knee with back breaking force.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
(Web): Isiph says, "Omg.."
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari sticks herself with a long needle.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari eats a heart slice.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari eats a kidney slice.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari stands up and stretches her arms out wide.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]wt she's so dumb
(Web): You say, "She's so dumb."
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
(Web): Tris says, "Rofl."
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari eats a kidney slice.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari sticks herself with a long needle.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari presses a bandage against her torso, rubbing the poultice into her flesh.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari sticks herself with a long needle.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]wt she's so dumb
(Web): You say, "She's so dumb."
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Kylari slashes into Tris's left arm with an ornate steel rapier.
Tris steps into the attack, grabs Kylari by the arm, and throws her violently to
the ground.
H:4220 M:2540 E:100% [sdb eb]
Tris moves in towards Kylari in a grabbing posture.
Tris lifts Kylari triumphantly into the air, then yanks her down into his raised
knee with back breaking force.
With a sickening crunch and cry of pure agony, Kylari's head lolls aimlessly far
too far to one side. Kylari collapses into such an undignified sprawl that you
realise that the throw did indeed snap the spine like a dry twig.
Kylari has been slain by Tris.
Kylari drops an inky black gyr falcon.

LRN2WATCH WHAT YOU'RE TARGETING, TARDO.